There are certain things about being more than two metres tall I can understand; ducking under doorways has become second nature to me, my feet almost always stick out of the bed, I'll struggle for legroom on public transport (planes being particularly bad) and some children will gawp at me.
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| Bamburgh beach circa 2012 |
But if one thing really winds me up more than anything else, it's clothes shopping.
Eight, maybe even nine times out of ten clothes shopping serves nothing more than to get me in a bad mood and have me f-ing and blinding about my height.
At 6'7" and a size 13 shoe I understand finding clothes is going to be difficult but it is not helped by the majority of shops who prefer to pretend people my height don't exist. We do. There are two of us in my office and it's not uncommon for me to see people a similar height on the street.
A trip to Chester this afternoon has put me in a foul mood and got me wishing I was a more reasonable 6'2". Chances are I would still be the tallest person in the room but clothes shopping and life in general would be so much easier.
But then I think, why should I be getting wound up? What have I done to deserve it? Unlike overweight people I have made no conscious decision to be as tall as I am. Unlike the rubbish you hear some larger people saying it is just down to my genes. I didn't do any of my sleeping in greenhouses as the saying goes. I could get annoyed at my 6'5" dad but he's had to go through exactly the same issues I've had.
Shops though don't see it that way. Because of the state of the obesity epidemic going on in our society shops are much more likely to stock clothes for people overweight rather than overheight.
Budget shops are the worst. I sometimes get labelled as a clothes snob because I refuse to step foot in H&M, Primark to BHS but I have not found anything in these shops in the last five years that has fit me. Crossing the threshold just serves to get me wound up how average people can get clothes much cheaper than myself.
The whole issue isn't helped by the fact sizing across shops is so eclectic. Women complain about vanity sizing but at least that is understandable with shops wanting to flatter their customers. There can be no such excuse for men's sizing.
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| An odd-sized combination |
A six-month-long hunt for a leather jacket came to an end last August when I forked out a rather eye watering £225 for one from Superdry. My size? An extra, extra large (pictured above). Two months ago I bought a plain white Oxford cotton button down from Hollister. My size? A medium (also pictured above). A grey hoodie from Jack Jones? Extra large. A henley from American Eagle? Large. V-neck jumper from Superdry? Medium.
It's a complete lottery.
This itself is annoying but it makes buying things online much more of a crap shoot. Sometimes even sizes in individual shops are different. River Island I'm a large in t-shirts and a medium in short-sleeved shirts.
This makes things difficult for myself but downright impossible for anyone who wants to buy me clothes as a present.
My hackles are not soothed when people point me in the direction of WalkTall or High & Mighty websites. The former only stock shoes, although their trainer selection is very poor outside of Converse and Vans. The latter is largely overpriced on the rare occasion it actually stocks something suitable for an under 30.
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| How a shirt should fit |
Arm length is the eternal issue when it comes to shirts. I bought four shirts from Charles Tyrwhitt a few months ago with the longest arm length they stock. Still an inch too short. I've taken to unfolding my double cuff sleeves when wearing my jacket so i can have the desirable 1/4 inch of cuff showing and refolding them when I take the jacket off.
Some things are easier than others. I have little issue buying dress shoes, just last week I bought a pair of very fetching brown leather Jimmy Bee shoes from Slaters which fit immaculately. My brogues from Dune are 14 and were available online, the 13 originally bought for me were too small.
Certain brands are the target of my ire more than others.
Topman are, fittingly, top of the pile. Although I find their general styles hit and miss, their sizes are consistently too small. Jackets, shirts, jumpers... all too small. I was looking to buy a turtleneck jumper last weekend and tried on every size from medium to extra large. The only difference? The width.
They stock every kind of colour and style of jean imaginable. But not every size. 34/34 is the limit. Not even a token size of 34/36. You would have thought, with cuffed jeans very much in vogue at the minute, certain styles would be longer. You would have been wrong.
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| Perfect jeans break |
Burton are equally culpable on this front. Slim fit they stock. Nothing extra long. Or if it is extra long it's not slim fit and I have to fork out extra money to have a tailor take them in.
With jeans the biggest culprit is Levis. The self-styled home of jeans but once again 34/34 is the limit, even in outlet shops. Even online they don't stock 34/36. For my pair of 511s I had to import them from America on Amazon.com.
Levis.com, almost unbelievably, don't ship to Europe.
One brand have gone so far as to get me to swear off them altogether. Adidas. They only physically produce trainers up to size 13. And they are well known for running small. I was after a pair of Gazelle's or Stan Smith's. Not anymore. Converse and Vans produce shoes up to 15. Why is it so difficult for the more prestigious brands to do the same? New Balance are also dreadful for finding plus sizes.
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| Stan Smiths |
All of the above though I can live with, all of the above I could tolerate if dedicated shoe shops did a better job stocking line to size 13, or even above. Schuh, Footlocker, FootAsylum, Office, Clarks, Sole Trader. They all almost point blank refuse to stock size 13s.
And I don't think I am asking for much. I don't expect them to stock size 13 in every line and every colour. Why not just stock certain brands in 13? That way customers can try them on in store, see how they fit and if they don't like the colour they can then order the different pair online, knowing they will fit. How much space would it take up in the store rooms? Not a great deal.
I have lost count of the amount of times I have sales assistants tell me they've had several people in asking about size 13s. Why not cater to them? Are they trying to drive their custom online?
I suppose it could be worse. I do sometimes have people who walk past me who are even taller and they have my sympathies. But shops should do more to stock to the vertically challenged and I'm talking about myself when I say that. We, after all, do have just as many challenges as those 5'5".
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